I woke up this morning with fear anger trust issues regrets heartbreak pain despair anxiety anguish thoughts that should not exist hatred and frustration but then I hear that the JOY of the Lord is my strength that I should lean and depend on Jesus . I hear that this is not forever and that the Lord will fight for me.
I reflect back to the events of the day before and the chaos of that week prior and realize that I did not walk up according to Gods word.
Again the feelings of defeat arise and unworthy thoughts flood my core. You’re not worthy you’re not capable you’re not called. The voice reminds me of this and defeat becomes my space.
I know that if I confess that you will forgive me of it all. But Lord how long will you keep allowing me to run down this path before you unleash your wrath upon me? I really don’t wanna see nor experience this.
Help me in my broken state and strengthen me in my weakness. I am a willing vessel and I sometimes struggle and stray away from your love.
It is beyond my mind to process why you love a mess like me but I am glad that you do. Cleanse me from within and create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Lord help my unbelief as you guard my heart and mind. I am yours and you will do to me as you see fit.
I believe that there’s a reason I still breathe and have a place in the land of the living so grant me grace and mercy and forgive me of all my sins , Lord help my unbelief .
Sincerely yours a broken soul….